If you are contemplating divorce, I am sure you have wondered, “What next?”
That leads you to google for something along the lines of ‘Checklist for divorce’ or ‘Divorcing with kids’ and you came up with ALL KINDS of checklists for papers you need to gather, files you need to have and what to look for in an attorney and questions to ask them and how to prepare for divorce. (Get a counselor for yourself. Even if you are ready for this divorce, you will find yourself hit with a TON of emotions).
Did you know there is an area of divorce that is sorely missing from the wide inter-webs? Try ‘What should I ask for in my divorce?’
You will find a couple blogs. The list I found is below:
But what does that all mean? Yes, I read her links. And in general, they are good. But there are some things definitely NOT included in her lists. Please, go and read her blog. It is a good starting point. My experience is that her list will not be enough if there is ANY kind of abuse in your marriage. For that, come back here.
Of course, if you can settle outside of court, it will be better for all parties involved, and I won’t discourage it, but make sure your paperwork covers you in the event your soon-to-be-ex partner ever changes their mind about amicability. I have seen far too many instance where the spouses settle outside of court and trust each other to keep their end of the bargain, then end up back in court wasting thousands on things that could have been laid out in the plan from the beginning. Do NOT try to navigate your divorce without an attorney or mediator in your corner.
Over the next several weeks I will address the following topics:
- Parenting Time – this will include a quick, VERY basic conversation about parent time, expectations for parental and other adult behavior during parent time, expectations for travel during parent time and other items I have found useful to discuss.
- Co Parenting restraints and requirements – restraints against certain types of communication, requirements for communication, classes, etc
- Mental health and Social Evaluation – If your spouse is abusive, this is especially important section. You can ask for things that I wish I had known the first time around.
I started all of this as a single post and then realized EXACTLY how much there really was. Please stick with me. Don’t let all the information overwhelm you.